marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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