i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize