FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize