Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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