how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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