There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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