PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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