Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize