she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize