i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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