Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize