Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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