Your face is a jimmy john
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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