someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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