I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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