K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize