I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize