Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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