I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
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It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
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Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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