I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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