My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize