I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize