i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize