The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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