We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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