I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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