I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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