take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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