If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize