a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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