i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize