he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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