Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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