please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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