are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
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If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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