that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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