i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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