OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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