she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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