I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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