i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize