Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize