For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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