How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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