I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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