We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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