hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
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Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize