Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize