im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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