Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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